Do you know anyone who understands duck?
yes, as in Mallard.
I have a friend who works at this company who recently outsourced their support department to India. Even as that project took flight some senior executives evidently thought even Indian support workers were too expensive and cried fowl, so that's what the company gave them instead. The shareholders were elated because they worked for breadcrumbs and management liked the low overhead since their cubicles fit 8 high in a standard 9-foot ceiling. The whole department fit in one cubicle with room to spare.
Still, all I hear a bunch of quacks, and I don't mean the ducks. They're as genuine as ever. Just ducky. A tad bit of a challenge since the dialect has a twinge of Swedish mixed in -- that's right, these are the Mallards from Ballard. They went local to mitigate fears of offshoring well defined skilled technical jobs.
While working on a project with my friend I had a problem while onsite and went down to present it. They chewed on it for a little while and they seemed quite content to keep chewing on it indefinitely. I can't say the problem has gotten any better but they've certainly made their mark and it'll never be the same. Despite their lackluster technical prowess I can't walk away completely disgruntled. They recognized their efforts came up short and didn't bill me, though that might also have something to do with me being faster on two legs than they are.
I roasted one for incompetence in front of his manager and he frankly agreed with me. He said turnover was high and he really had to keep the heat on. The extra costs involved for training and salad weren't budgeted for, but it was always a treat to meat them. The cost and size of theirbreadcrumbs in light of the scope creep associated with hiring ducks for technical support was rising exponentially. My friend asked if I would pass the ketchup.
"when life gives you lemons, make lemonade." In this case, life gave my friend's company ducks. They're looking for a good chef. Do you know one that understands duck?
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Friday, August 25, 2006
culture shock at the checkstand
After a long day of working and moving, I was making some soup with my mom, but we discovered the organic chicken broth we had went bad and the non-organic chicken base had autolyzed yeast, a clever way of disguizing MSG behind a different name. So I made a run to the local grocery store for some organic chicken broth.
In the checkstand in front of me was a group of about 3-4 young guys, I'd guess early 20's but maybe even younger than that. The checker lady was probably late-40's and looked like she'd seen a lot of life -- I mean that in a positive way, she was someone whose presence showed both experience and humility. While one would expect that their roles would have been reversed (I've read mumerous articles about older people entering the workforce out of necessity), so far at least nothing is too whacked. Except that at the end, she tore off the recipt, looked at it and said, "Have a good day Mr. Jenkins," to this young kid. She did this in turn for each of them.
I know -- mentally -- that this particular grocery store mandates that its checkers call customers by title and surname. However, in this context, the expression was clearly opposite of the relality. She even called one of them "Sir" -- which really floored me, because I was in ROTC in college, where I'd heard stories of experienced elisted professionals were exasperated by egotistical young officers bent on making their mark, leveraging the enforced rules of respect due to an officer but not understanding the necessity to earn it. The controversy of calling somone "sir" on title alone was one that I was keenly aware of.
This incident in the grocery store smacked of that same controversey. Those kids should have been calling her "ma'am" rahter than her calling them "Mr. X" and "sir." And I think she knew it, and at some level so did they, as they all seemed a little uncomfortable until the whole ordeal was over.
In the checkstand in front of me was a group of about 3-4 young guys, I'd guess early 20's but maybe even younger than that. The checker lady was probably late-40's and looked like she'd seen a lot of life -- I mean that in a positive way, she was someone whose presence showed both experience and humility. While one would expect that their roles would have been reversed (I've read mumerous articles about older people entering the workforce out of necessity), so far at least nothing is too whacked. Except that at the end, she tore off the recipt, looked at it and said, "Have a good day Mr. Jenkins," to this young kid. She did this in turn for each of them.
I know -- mentally -- that this particular grocery store mandates that its checkers call customers by title and surname. However, in this context, the expression was clearly opposite of the relality. She even called one of them "Sir" -- which really floored me, because I was in ROTC in college, where I'd heard stories of experienced elisted professionals were exasperated by egotistical young officers bent on making their mark, leveraging the enforced rules of respect due to an officer but not understanding the necessity to earn it. The controversy of calling somone "sir" on title alone was one that I was keenly aware of.
This incident in the grocery store smacked of that same controversey. Those kids should have been calling her "ma'am" rahter than her calling them "Mr. X" and "sir." And I think she knew it, and at some level so did they, as they all seemed a little uncomfortable until the whole ordeal was over.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
unprofessional videos
I was watching some videos on Google Video, and noticed that some of the most popular videos are unprofessional. They never would have been seen were it not for the accessability of the internet, because all that is seen in more traditional media is filtered by the production process.
Its good to see that there is value outside what is captured by the industry.
Its good to see that there is value outside what is captured by the industry.
Friday, June 16, 2006
musing on "the time value of money"
I was doing some research today and came across the phraselet
the time value of money
while contemplating that something shifted
mastering money has something to do with ... I don't want to say mastering time but ...
cross that idea with the idea of primary and secondary relationships
where a primary relationship is, say, family -- mother, father, husband, etc
and a secondary relationship is like a co-worker or an acquaintence or a client
the time value of money in the context of secondary relationships is a totally different construct than how any of us grew up with money (primary relationships).
which provides at least two immediate insights:
a). there exists more than one perspective in which to view money -- the one you/me/etc know from birth is not the only one (obvious, perhaps, but hardly trivial)
b). the values associated with primary relationships and the values associated with secondary relationships often seem to get mixed when dealing with money (at least they do for me!) -- in other words, if I approach how much people pay me as a reflection of *my* worth, it's a breeding ground for resentment and discord. If however I see money as a reflection of [what my *time*] does for [other people's time] then -=<*click*>=- suddenly things like investements and interest and all that suddenly appear on the same continum as jobs and the like. And what being wealthy means. It's all a secondary-relationship management protocol... or something like that...
the time value of money
while contemplating that something shifted
mastering money has something to do with ... I don't want to say mastering time but ...
cross that idea with the idea of primary and secondary relationships
where a primary relationship is, say, family -- mother, father, husband, etc
and a secondary relationship is like a co-worker or an acquaintence or a client
the time value of money in the context of secondary relationships is a totally different construct than how any of us grew up with money (primary relationships).
which provides at least two immediate insights:
a). there exists more than one perspective in which to view money -- the one you/me/etc know from birth is not the only one (obvious, perhaps, but hardly trivial)
b). the values associated with primary relationships and the values associated with secondary relationships often seem to get mixed when dealing with money (at least they do for me!) -- in other words, if I approach how much people pay me as a reflection of *my* worth, it's a breeding ground for resentment and discord. If however I see money as a reflection of [what my *time*] does for [other people's time] then -=<*click*>=- suddenly things like investements and interest and all that suddenly appear on the same continum as jobs and the like. And what being wealthy means. It's all a secondary-relationship management protocol... or something like that...
Friday, April 14, 2006
A Brief History of Computing, Part III
It's not like Business totally ignored Support. He tried talking to him, but Support did not understand the daily life of Business -- what he was trying to do, or why he did the things he did. Support just played with what he had, and more often than not it was something Technology gave him. And, if he could help someone else in the process, so much the better. So much of what little Business said to him went in one ear and out the other. The problem was that Support, isolated as he was from his father, never got the context that Business took for granted. It didn't help that Support, though young -- and some would say niave -- found some of what Business did to be somewhat shady, and at times downright decietful. Worse, Support was even tasked with enforcing some of these policies. Support thrived on observing, discovery and the nuts and bolts of how things work; Business makes promises, deals and added value.
Occasionally, the two collided. Inevatibly, when the two worlds collided, Business trimphed. This was because Business' whole existance revolved around being in control. It was his culture, and how he set up his relationships. In this case, it was Business' phones and Business' office and Business' paychecks that kept Support in second place.
The tragedy is that the two never really got along. Business pays lip service to wanting customers to be satisfied, and even convinces himself this is what he really wants (as long as it isn't too expensive). Business even goes to the extent of checking up on his customers with surveys. (In customer support, customer satisfaction basically boils down to "did they get their problem fixed?) But I think there's an oppertunity being lost here, benefitting Business, Support and clients. For example, in the Sales model, if a customer wants to buy a product, they talk to their salesman. They know his name, ahead of time. What happens when you call support? you wait on hold to talk to a complete stranger, and you hope he knows what he's doing and he secretly hopes you're not an idiot. Where's the CRM in that?
Sales and support aren't really all that different. In both cases, a customer has a problem and needs a solution. In one case, it's often a goods transfer; in the latter case, it's knowledge. And in both cases customers respond to service.
I've seen a major company throw away an excellent customer service reputation in the name of cutting costs. They could have hired two more engineers for two years, which would have lightened the load on the existing engineers considerably, raised morale and shown some genuine concern for what front line engineers were facing. Instead, They were willing to spend waaay more than that would have cost on some trivial training program that took 1/3 of the already stressed support team off the phones for a week, pissing everyone off more than they already were, and letting slip comments about how replaceable they were. A trend of increasing hold times caught customers' attention. At a time when support was the only profitable section of the company.
And now there's a shift to moving support to India, so we can throw language speed bumps into an already painful process for customers. High-end industries would do better to consider offering high-end customer support. It is a market differentiator and one of the hardest places to gain and keep a good reputation.
Occasionally, the two collided. Inevatibly, when the two worlds collided, Business trimphed. This was because Business' whole existance revolved around being in control. It was his culture, and how he set up his relationships. In this case, it was Business' phones and Business' office and Business' paychecks that kept Support in second place.
The tragedy is that the two never really got along. Business pays lip service to wanting customers to be satisfied, and even convinces himself this is what he really wants (as long as it isn't too expensive). Business even goes to the extent of checking up on his customers with surveys. (In customer support, customer satisfaction basically boils down to "did they get their problem fixed?) But I think there's an oppertunity being lost here, benefitting Business, Support and clients. For example, in the Sales model, if a customer wants to buy a product, they talk to their salesman. They know his name, ahead of time. What happens when you call support? you wait on hold to talk to a complete stranger, and you hope he knows what he's doing and he secretly hopes you're not an idiot. Where's the CRM in that?
Sales and support aren't really all that different. In both cases, a customer has a problem and needs a solution. In one case, it's often a goods transfer; in the latter case, it's knowledge. And in both cases customers respond to service.
I've seen a major company throw away an excellent customer service reputation in the name of cutting costs. They could have hired two more engineers for two years, which would have lightened the load on the existing engineers considerably, raised morale and shown some genuine concern for what front line engineers were facing. Instead, They were willing to spend waaay more than that would have cost on some trivial training program that took 1/3 of the already stressed support team off the phones for a week, pissing everyone off more than they already were, and letting slip comments about how replaceable they were. A trend of increasing hold times caught customers' attention. At a time when support was the only profitable section of the company.
And now there's a shift to moving support to India, so we can throw language speed bumps into an already painful process for customers. High-end industries would do better to consider offering high-end customer support. It is a market differentiator and one of the hardest places to gain and keep a good reputation.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
The First Day of the Rest of My Life
I drove up to Vancouver, BC -- one of my favorite cities -- for a seminar on web marketing last weekend.
I don't know anything about marketing.
I do know a few things about the web. Well, let me rephrase that -- I know more about TCP/IP and Ethernet and the foundation that makes the Internet tick than I know about doing business on the web. Or doing business at all for that matter.
Yes, I am a geek. I grew up with the Internet; I was online before lines were full-on, though you'll only get that joke if you know what a BBS is and what they were all about, especially back in 1990. The transition to fully wired internetworks, when I got to college in late '92, was natural and didn't seem unusual to me at all. Heck, I'd seen email several years before, when I got to play "empire" with a bunch of classmates on a mainframe. I was more interested in "empire" than anything else, but that didn't mean I got to play it.
I don't know anything about marketing.
I do know a few things about the web. Well, let me rephrase that -- I know more about TCP/IP and Ethernet and the foundation that makes the Internet tick than I know about doing business on the web. Or doing business at all for that matter.
Yes, I am a geek. I grew up with the Internet; I was online before lines were full-on, though you'll only get that joke if you know what a BBS is and what they were all about, especially back in 1990. The transition to fully wired internetworks, when I got to college in late '92, was natural and didn't seem unusual to me at all. Heck, I'd seen email several years before, when I got to play "empire" with a bunch of classmates on a mainframe. I was more interested in "empire" than anything else, but that didn't mean I got to play it.
Monday, April 10, 2006
A Brief History of Computing, Part II
Business just did not want a child. Children are expensive. Not only do they cost money, but also time. He didn't particularly have a shortage of either but tended to be frugal with both. A notable exception is wooing, but that was the least of his problems at the moment. Additionally, anything he did spend, he did so for a reason: to make more money, and even wooing wasn't an exception to that rule. What profit is there in children?
Despite this, Business was still smitten with Technology and really didn't want to deal with the whole child thing. He wasn't trying to be mean or cruel, he just didn't know what to do with one. Mostly he continued on as before, and pretended the child didn't exist.
That got a little harder as Technology got more and more pregnant. The news spread quietly at first, mostly by word of mouth. When they appeared in public together, no one really said anything out loud. The speculation went from "Are they getting married?" to "when are they getting married?" since an upstanding citizen like Business could hardly afford an illegitimate child so obviously visible to the public eye. Pressure mounted.
Their marriage was a quiet one, held in a small town in the northwest. Their relationship changed subtly, but significantly, after the marriage: Technology, radiant in her own right (if still dependent in Business), could no longer go out on her own; for she now fully belonged to Business, and could only go out with a written note, stating exactly what she could do and who she could do it with. All of which had to be preapproved by Business, or those she went out with could be fined or go to jail. But she trusted Business; and besides, she was so looking forward to Business' promises to fulfill her wildest dreams that she hardly noticed the new restrictions on her personal freedom. Besides, few outside Business' closest buddies took the restrictions seriously; who was really going to get in trouble just for talking to her? No one was really paying attention to what she did on her own time anyway.
By and large, Business carried on as usual after the marriage. He was quite happy finding new ways to sell Technology's unique talents to clients. With the marriage firmly in place, they could no longer form their own relationships with Technology. At least not his Technology, for that would threaten his role as the gateway to her; and he focused even more effort on marketing her abilities. It was a very profitable arrangement.
Technology, for her part, busied herself by working on projects for Business, of which there was no shortage, and preparing for motherhood. She went out less (but still often), and didn't mind; she was a little tired of the constant spotlight anyway, and rediscovered the contemplative setting of a workshop, like where she was raised.
The day came when the new child could wait no longer. Technology was ready. Business' clients were ready and they often asked him about it (though he usually brushed them off, changed the subject, or had them speak directly to Technology about it). It was an exciting day: they had a son! Technology, excited by the work she was doing to support her husband, named the child Support, and had visions of how this new child would help people understand the work she was doing for Business.
Business played along with the festivities. Mostly he wanted to get back to work, selling technology's talents. He provided frugally for Support, and found to his dismay that this new child was costing him more than he thought. Business also began to get irritated at Technology who for some reason wasn't producing cool stuff as quickly as she used to. They got into fights every now and then which left Technology crying and Business frustrated and angry. It got worse when his clients started to complain that the solutions he provided weren't working as he promised. Technology bemoaned the demanding schedule Business put her on; Business responded by demanding more projects, more features and more speed.
Despite the problems, Technology's influence on Business' clients, and indeed Business himself, was making itself felt. Much of the buzz they generated together still had a strong grip on the populace at large; Technology had come up with fancy visual devices that used a graphical pointer instead of an ungainly command line interface, and this appealed to many people who didn't like command line interfaces.
With all the goings-on, Support was pretty much left to fend for himself. He was fed, watered, and properly toilet trained; Business' servants saw to his naps, and regular bathings as necessary. But Business never spent much time with Support; he never really made the effort to know who this child was, what made him tick, or what was important to him. Support was a curious one; he took after his mother in that respect. And he loved to please. As a toddler he couldn't do much in that respect except smile real big and get excited when others smiled back. Technology loved to reward his curiosity, and often smiled when he tried new things. And to young Support, everything was new.
...to be continued...
Despite this, Business was still smitten with Technology and really didn't want to deal with the whole child thing. He wasn't trying to be mean or cruel, he just didn't know what to do with one. Mostly he continued on as before, and pretended the child didn't exist.
That got a little harder as Technology got more and more pregnant. The news spread quietly at first, mostly by word of mouth. When they appeared in public together, no one really said anything out loud. The speculation went from "Are they getting married?" to "when are they getting married?" since an upstanding citizen like Business could hardly afford an illegitimate child so obviously visible to the public eye. Pressure mounted.
Their marriage was a quiet one, held in a small town in the northwest. Their relationship changed subtly, but significantly, after the marriage: Technology, radiant in her own right (if still dependent in Business), could no longer go out on her own; for she now fully belonged to Business, and could only go out with a written note, stating exactly what she could do and who she could do it with. All of which had to be preapproved by Business, or those she went out with could be fined or go to jail. But she trusted Business; and besides, she was so looking forward to Business' promises to fulfill her wildest dreams that she hardly noticed the new restrictions on her personal freedom. Besides, few outside Business' closest buddies took the restrictions seriously; who was really going to get in trouble just for talking to her? No one was really paying attention to what she did on her own time anyway.
By and large, Business carried on as usual after the marriage. He was quite happy finding new ways to sell Technology's unique talents to clients. With the marriage firmly in place, they could no longer form their own relationships with Technology. At least not his Technology, for that would threaten his role as the gateway to her; and he focused even more effort on marketing her abilities. It was a very profitable arrangement.
Technology, for her part, busied herself by working on projects for Business, of which there was no shortage, and preparing for motherhood. She went out less (but still often), and didn't mind; she was a little tired of the constant spotlight anyway, and rediscovered the contemplative setting of a workshop, like where she was raised.
The day came when the new child could wait no longer. Technology was ready. Business' clients were ready and they often asked him about it (though he usually brushed them off, changed the subject, or had them speak directly to Technology about it). It was an exciting day: they had a son! Technology, excited by the work she was doing to support her husband, named the child Support, and had visions of how this new child would help people understand the work she was doing for Business.
Business played along with the festivities. Mostly he wanted to get back to work, selling technology's talents. He provided frugally for Support, and found to his dismay that this new child was costing him more than he thought. Business also began to get irritated at Technology who for some reason wasn't producing cool stuff as quickly as she used to. They got into fights every now and then which left Technology crying and Business frustrated and angry. It got worse when his clients started to complain that the solutions he provided weren't working as he promised. Technology bemoaned the demanding schedule Business put her on; Business responded by demanding more projects, more features and more speed.
Despite the problems, Technology's influence on Business' clients, and indeed Business himself, was making itself felt. Much of the buzz they generated together still had a strong grip on the populace at large; Technology had come up with fancy visual devices that used a graphical pointer instead of an ungainly command line interface, and this appealed to many people who didn't like command line interfaces.
With all the goings-on, Support was pretty much left to fend for himself. He was fed, watered, and properly toilet trained; Business' servants saw to his naps, and regular bathings as necessary. But Business never spent much time with Support; he never really made the effort to know who this child was, what made him tick, or what was important to him. Support was a curious one; he took after his mother in that respect. And he loved to please. As a toddler he couldn't do much in that respect except smile real big and get excited when others smiled back. Technology loved to reward his curiosity, and often smiled when he tried new things. And to young Support, everything was new.
...to be continued...
Saturday, April 08, 2006
A Brief History of Computing, part I
The Internet I discovered in 1992 was Netscape. It was scientists sharing their work, which I was fascinated by. It was homepages with stats and pictures and some with stories. The concept of portals was brand new and generally related to things that interested the geeks who maintained them, which was plenty fine for me. I used to think of it as the time when the internet was innocent: transparent, and by that I mean it didn't try to hide its ugliness. The people who were there either knew what they were doing or relied on someone in visual range. Or at least someone who could be in visual range after a short walk who did (BOFH anyone?).
Technology was young then, and I recognize it now not as virtuous innocence (if there is such a thing) I have since pined for, but perhaps youthful innocence. Or naivete. I felt the shift a couple years later she caught the attention of a much older man called Business. Few could tell, at the time, of course, because while Business had been carrying on for years, Technology was still young and fresh and unknown. Many even thought she was too young for Business and Business didn't let her go everywhere with him. But she learned a lot from Business, and she was very eager to see him. Business loved the attention she gave, and grew very fond of her.
Their friendship grew, and they spent a lot of time together. In retrospect I think a parent might even become worried over the sheer volume of time they spent together. That they were affectionate was obvious, but few realized how intimate they had become. Business had many dreams about Technology, and loved sharing them with her. Technology was a rapt audience for each one, and loved hearing stories. Technology had a few ideas of her own, too, but Business, more concerned about himself, listened only absentmindedly. She managed to surprise him sometimes, but more often than not he called the shots, and he liked it that way. Still, Technology managed some surprises that caught Business off guard, and despite the arguments it did keep the relationship fresh. This, too, not seen by many.
It wasn't too long before Business pursued Technology vigorously and openly. Technology could do no wrong -- and she even found him a willing audience for a change! Emboldened by her newfound importance to Business -- and the lavish attention she was receiving, not just privately, but in front of everyone -- made her feel like a star. And a Star she became, for Business was a powerful man and was used to getting his way.
A young woman from the middle class, Technology was raised by her father & mother, Education & Research,* and nurtured in the back rooms of universities across the country, Technology was well educated and traveled; nevertheless, she was swept away by the lavishness of Business' affections.
*(Research was also Government's part-time mistress, much to Education's ambivalent chagrin; you see, a lot of Government's money -- rather, a lot by middle-class standards -- was found in places Research was known to frequent -- including Education's home.)
He seduced her with ease, and they made passionate love. They paraded together at social functions; celebrated at parties; and even her parents thought they looked pretty good together.
They were in their prime. Everyone wanted to be seen with them. Press idolized them. Clergy dusted off old stories foretelling their forthcoming kind of like they usually do shortly after something important happens. Even Government, Business' fishing buddy, quietly admitted he was jealous.
One day, after coming home from a particularly lavish and entertaining party, Technology mentioned coyly to Business that she was pregnant.
Business would have none of it. "Nonsense," he said. "It's too soon. We've got so much to do together. I've got plans, and I don't want to be held back by some kid. Now get to bed, we've got a long day tomorrow!"
"it's all right," she said to the little one, not yet visible in her belly. "He'll come 'round."
...to be continued...
Technology was young then, and I recognize it now not as virtuous innocence (if there is such a thing) I have since pined for, but perhaps youthful innocence. Or naivete. I felt the shift a couple years later she caught the attention of a much older man called Business. Few could tell, at the time, of course, because while Business had been carrying on for years, Technology was still young and fresh and unknown. Many even thought she was too young for Business and Business didn't let her go everywhere with him. But she learned a lot from Business, and she was very eager to see him. Business loved the attention she gave, and grew very fond of her.
Their friendship grew, and they spent a lot of time together. In retrospect I think a parent might even become worried over the sheer volume of time they spent together. That they were affectionate was obvious, but few realized how intimate they had become. Business had many dreams about Technology, and loved sharing them with her. Technology was a rapt audience for each one, and loved hearing stories. Technology had a few ideas of her own, too, but Business, more concerned about himself, listened only absentmindedly. She managed to surprise him sometimes, but more often than not he called the shots, and he liked it that way. Still, Technology managed some surprises that caught Business off guard, and despite the arguments it did keep the relationship fresh. This, too, not seen by many.
It wasn't too long before Business pursued Technology vigorously and openly. Technology could do no wrong -- and she even found him a willing audience for a change! Emboldened by her newfound importance to Business -- and the lavish attention she was receiving, not just privately, but in front of everyone -- made her feel like a star. And a Star she became, for Business was a powerful man and was used to getting his way.
A young woman from the middle class, Technology was raised by her father & mother, Education & Research,* and nurtured in the back rooms of universities across the country, Technology was well educated and traveled; nevertheless, she was swept away by the lavishness of Business' affections.
*(Research was also Government's part-time mistress, much to Education's ambivalent chagrin; you see, a lot of Government's money -- rather, a lot by middle-class standards -- was found in places Research was known to frequent -- including Education's home.)
He seduced her with ease, and they made passionate love. They paraded together at social functions; celebrated at parties; and even her parents thought they looked pretty good together.
They were in their prime. Everyone wanted to be seen with them. Press idolized them. Clergy dusted off old stories foretelling their forthcoming kind of like they usually do shortly after something important happens. Even Government, Business' fishing buddy, quietly admitted he was jealous.
One day, after coming home from a particularly lavish and entertaining party, Technology mentioned coyly to Business that she was pregnant.
Business would have none of it. "Nonsense," he said. "It's too soon. We've got so much to do together. I've got plans, and I don't want to be held back by some kid. Now get to bed, we've got a long day tomorrow!"
"it's all right," she said to the little one, not yet visible in her belly. "He'll come 'round."
...to be continued...
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